I'm finishing my amazing "fairy-tail" about me and Puerto Rico - the place on this earth , that smth like 15 months ago I even didn't have any idea about :P ...Now things changed.. I know the place, I know people, I have a lot of memories , amazing XPs and so on. PR is very very special place for me :)
Why? Cause first time is always special :) and te place is also itself is special ))
I have many "first times" here - first time so far away, Spanish for first time -ttally unknown, firsttim eso long , first salary and living almost alone, first island, first time I lived near sea, the position and work that is giving u always a lot of challenges and opportunities to grow, first time Caribbean amazing and wonderful (except May :P) weather and climate...so many many things that makes this XP -unforgettable and so valuable, that u don't want to finish...But there is smth inside u (1 part of u) that tells u: "it's ok that u need to fly away now - u need to look fo rnew horizons , u need to see another parts of teh world, to live another XPs, to meet another people...anyway, if u want to back - u can..always can" :)) It's probably the voice of some ambition and wisdom and leadership is talking :) There is another voice - that tells U - "ho wwill u back? Visa, money, blabla-bla...?" and u feel a bit scared...as U were always afraid to lose some opportunity in this life, some life-needed option...But this dialog is the evidence , that everything in our life -depends on our point of view - HOW we see it - problem or opportunity ;)
I became more optimistic this year :) It's what I wanted always - to be more optimistic, relaxed and not to take myself so seriously, as I usually do :) anyway, I had a lot of suffering because of all my nature this year :) But I did it - I took from PR - this mood more relaxing and happy:) I was noticing every day , while walking to the office -sun and bauetiful trees nearby :) I loved coqui -small melody of grey frog -special for PR :))
Recently I was searching ways to reflect and I didn't know which Qs should I ask myself, with whom to talk, where to be...but it happened today very natural and pleasant for me:) I was at sea side and just started to think about some things and after I asked to the sea to tell me the story :) (don't think I'm crazy :) I 'mnot :) and I know that sea can't talk:) but when u are near such beautiful and relaxing place ur brains are starting to use imagination very actively, so in few minutes I noticed myself -deeply in some dreams and just thoughts , that were about future - maybe small things -but very pleasants :) and after , when I was on my way back home - I started to think how I wil write this post and make up the text . u know it;s very cool, I started to follow my thought, and asked myself - so why am I suferingor have this internal dialog?What is better for me -to stay here or to go to new place -to challenge myself? WHat does it mean to me PR and if it's really so strong love to this country that I can back here, even if it's a bit hard and a lot of fuss?...I discivered and really calmed myself :) I understood - that it's like test that lovers have when they need to live in different cities/countries. In that time u can understand if u love this person so much that want to reunion with her/him and stay forever...the same is happening with me and PR :) I love this place, I adore it, I;'m deeply-madly enjoying everyday staying here. but I need to go for a while to see another places, to see if my love will last for a long time and to see if I want to back...so now I'm leaving with more clear heart and less worring and doubts of i did right....but anyway, I know myself and I know that I'm very loyal to people and things that I love :) so probably my story will need to be continued...here...;)
