Diary of winter

Long time no notes, at least here.

The winter has 1 more week and that’s all, so it’s the right time to look back and see what happened. And now is the right time –as I have an “after conference” mood, that has been very awaited moments for me, from the first time I felt it many years ago... It’s smth that gives you so many feelings and thoughts…It’s kind of addiction. But I’m glad that I have it J Actually to some part, all of people has similar addiction – necessity of feeling happy. All life We are searching for things/people that make us happy – pursuit of happiness.

Anyway, this winter…

December

Actually don’t remember much. Except 4 moments.

1^st one was when I was rejected by Brazilian very cool company.

2^nd is very fast and intensive studying week – that I was happy to finish!

3^rd –trip to Lviv, meeting Mikhed, Olya-lya, Morga, sisters Nemesh, Domo. Cool weekends in the cool city! =)

4^th –and the best moment of the month – New Years meeting in Lviv!!! Super cool and a lot of pleasant dear people with great emotions!

It was really cool start of the new year 2010 :)

January

SO the begging was great , and the following events as well.

At 6^th of January – exactly at our Holy Dinner I had interview with HR manager ))

7^th of Jan I got the email with big letters saying that probably my time to turn the life in some exact way came. I was selected to internship!!! Still I am realizing what decision I took, and still need time to see all the outcomes of this important step.

The Xmas itself was very warm , family and pleasant time.

After that I suppose came time to think once again why I need to do this internship right now, and specific this choice and persuade my family in it =)

Also there was cool Old New year celebration, that will be in memory for a long time J

The next is coming Winco 2010. It was unplanned and spontaneous decision for me. Very challenging time, with a lot of important conclusions and learning. I felt that some my intensions/dreams came true and actually what you really want is come true with time and hard work. For me it was some kind of H4tF conference for myself, even though I was a faci. It was a feeling that I was able to share a lot with people that were seeking for the knowledge, skills. Once again feeling great to be involved into conference and spending great time with old and new friends – very smart and intelligent people! J

After that was time for being sick, studying a bit.

1 week ago I was in Kyiv, meeting brother of my very good Brazilian friend/ Was happy to spend time with cool people.

And probably the last my conference for now in Ukraine –it’s regional LCC in Lviv. That finished just yesterday. It was definitely cool 3 days!!! Amazing place, cool atmosphere, a lot of nice and smart people. Very important that I saw my LC – new people, that are maybe 5 years younger than me, but I’m calm for the future of LC and it’s the most important! With good emotions, motivated to move and energized with positive mood, now I have ahead “interesting”, challenging time to prepare myself for the next step- internship, to solve all logistic-official tasks. Training my patience and solving skills J But the most important in all this staff is people. If you have right environment u can do a lot.

So it seems the winter wasn’t so boring at all J

Anyway winter is time for “rest” and soon is coming spring with its energy, promises and “wind of change”;)

autumn (yellow and grey)

I adore sun and summer, but it's also good that I'm from the country where you can observe beautiful moments of autumn.

Nowadays it's more usually grey and foggy, but through it you can see golden leaves of the trees:)

some thoughts

just synopsis or fragments of today thoughts:
- be professional!1) ur work will influnce most probably (life) people. doesn't matter what you do...we remember only teachers that were doing their best to teach us...
- cherish every period of life and close people (family).even though I can't still enjoy every single minute, I know that life is so short...
-one big period of life has ended...new one didn't start, or I didn't feel (let in) it in my life...feels like still in the search of the comfortable place for me.it doesn't mean it needs to be calm...i got used to movement, challenges and new discoveries...i need it as air...or i need to find out smth new...tring to figure out it for already 4 months...
- I see some things now from different point. I'm already tired and fed up with unprofessionalism of some people, people that belong to the org. that I will thank always. but they constantly disapoint me. and smtimes i can't do anything. but it hurts...
-everything has its time limits...friends - rarely u have the same friends from childhood to the pension. nowadays more and more widespreaded is changing jobs every couple of years, 2-3 husband/wives a life, few cities/countries changing through life...i need to go forward, but where is it -the place, I didn't find out yet...i'm still in waiting, and it doesn't feel comfprtable, as the curcumstances (environment) push me to make a choice, and I dont' have real choice...th eold environment with all its flaws was so goooood for me, but its time already passed( expired). and I only hurts myself staying and being so close to it, trying still to be active part of it..it's not the same and I can't get the people behaviour the same...
-from positivism -to ordinary-ukrainian-previous-traditional-girl...it seems to me, i'm loosing .that part of the sun inside of me, that i found out last year...
-"never say "never" -2nd time I proved to myself this proverb :) jokes of life...i'm still hoping to fix situation for better or discover that actually it's better ;P

-people are going away from ur life...but memories stay...and u can't influence it anyhow...it's so hard to say goodbye...and know u will never see her/him again, or don't know..

actually all this was initiated by "sad news" about one of my very good teachers...I just wanted somehow to express the feeling of gratitude for everything that he made for me, and even he will not know it, but his life isn't in vain, only because he made contribution to my head and soul and we will remember him with huge THANK YOU!

iLOVE - I Think

iLOVE - I Think

recent reflection

I know, I owe tons of posts about all my trips, new countries, new amazing XPs and so on...but now is happening smth inteersting an dmaybe I want to write about it:)
I'm finishing my amazing "fairy-tail" about me and Puerto Rico - the place on this earth , that smth like 15 months ago I even didn't have any idea about :P ...Now things changed.. I know the place, I know people, I have a lot of memories , amazing XPs and so on. PR is very very special place for me :)
Why? Cause first time is always special :) and te place is also itself is special ))
I have many "first times" here - first time so far away, Spanish for first time -ttally unknown, firsttim eso long , first salary and living almost alone, first island, first time I lived near sea, the position and work that is giving u always a lot of challenges and opportunities to grow, first time Caribbean amazing and wonderful (except May :P) weather and climate...so many many things that makes this XP -unforgettable and so valuable, that u don't want to finish...But there is smth inside u (1 part of u) that tells u: "it's ok that u need to fly away now - u need to look fo rnew horizons , u need to see another parts of teh world, to live another XPs, to meet another people...anyway, if u want to back - u can..always can" :)) It's probably the voice of some ambition and wisdom and leadership is talking :) There is another voice - that tells U - "ho wwill u back? Visa, money, blabla-bla...?" and u feel a bit scared...as U were always afraid to lose some opportunity in this life, some life-needed option...But this dialog is the evidence , that everything in our life -depends on our point of view - HOW we see it - problem or opportunity ;)
I became more optimistic this year :) It's what I wanted always - to be more optimistic, relaxed and not to take myself so seriously, as I usually do :) anyway, I had a lot of suffering because of all my nature this year :) But I did it - I took from PR - this mood more relaxing and happy:) I was noticing every day , while walking to the office -sun and bauetiful trees nearby :) I loved coqui -small melody of grey frog -special for PR :))
Recently I was searching ways to reflect and I didn't know which Qs should I ask myself, with whom to talk, where to be...but it happened today very natural and pleasant for me:) I was at sea side and just started to think about some things and after I asked to the sea to tell me the story :) (don't think I'm crazy :) I 'mnot :) and I know that sea can't talk:) but when u are near such beautiful and relaxing place ur brains are starting to use imagination very actively, so in few minutes I noticed myself -deeply in some dreams and just thoughts , that were about future - maybe small things -but very pleasants :) and after , when I was on my way back home - I started to think how I wil write this post and make up the text . u know it;s very cool, I started to follow my thought, and asked myself - so why am I suferingor have this internal dialog?What is better for me -to stay here or to go to new place -to challenge myself? WHat does it mean to me PR and if it's really so strong love to this country that I can back here, even if it's a bit hard and a lot of fuss?...I discivered and really calmed myself :) I understood - that it's like test that lovers have when they need to live in different cities/countries. In that time u can understand if u love this person so much that want to reunion with her/him and stay forever...the same is happening with me and PR :) I love this place, I adore it, I;'m deeply-madly enjoying everyday staying here. but I need to go for a while to see another places, to see if my love will last for a long time and to see if I want to back...so now I'm leaving with more clear heart and less worring and doubts of i did right....but anyway, I know myself and I know that I'm very loyal to people and things that I love :) so probably my story will need to be continued...here...;)

soon coming ;)

I feel that I need to make public promise, than probably it will happen :)
So soon, wait the post about my amazing March -discoveries about Mexico, Guatemala.
And also the post about Dominican Republic and the last conference in my AIESEC career...

coming soon :)

month post

Good tradition :))
15 day of month came and I see , I need to write smth about life here:)at least to leave some memory about this crazy,happy, contradicting time...
In 1 month a lot of things happen:)especially recently.
During this month I had exellent opportunity to train my flexibility and especcialy adaptability, ability to work in open space, to be more flexible and adapt in rapidly changing environment.
My life in the West of PR started somehow I was frightened how I will deal and live not at my place, somewhere with another family , how will it to work without office with some extraactivities sometimes.
BUt I'm very happy -I overcome it -I become more flexible and get things not so "close to heart", don't worry, just try to do the best :)
I really like that I was there -I integrated more into their company, I saw that they are really working and commited (I always knew it, but now I proved it with my eyes).
I had amazing opportunity to live in PR family! U know, that they say -at least once u need to live in the family to get the culture and true country spirit. I think I almost get it:))
at least I saw how the almost average family lives, eats, has rest and works. It's sometimes hard, cause u need to be in the same flow with them, but it's cool to see.
Sometimes I missed my mom, and I recalled her, and wish she could talk to me, as Carissa's mom toalked to her about some details of her work, day, food, cooking, some things that I always passed through my ears as I didn't have any time always for such simple but needed communication. With time, I think I will change more and will cherish and behave according to it with my relatives...
I had just amazing working place, and with it I also understood what disturbed mein the past, and see that I'm enough flexible, and for work only need table, chair and Internet :D
I saw and lived in Mayaguez -I undersatood the city (somehow:)still missing taking the picture of the Plaza:)
I got more skills in coaching, especially on-job-training:)
I spent many evenings (especially Thursdays and Tuesdays) in Borders (US bookstore), I was reading-studying Spanish, some books in HR management.
Also big big + (even that I could finish all needed stuff-as always:(() was that I almost didn't work after 6, at least I didn't stay at office:))
During this month I applied to big conference in Iberoamerica and I got place-it was really unexpected:) Now time to get all logistics done, and I will write about everything in next edition:))
I got through very important and at the beggining scarry decison making process - we selected next MC team. I know already my successor. She is just amazing! I loved her from the first day after elections;) SO I really see the big opportunity for growth in the next term. And it makes me happy:)) but at the begging I was so nervous, cause a lot of different people, and decision making never was my strongest side :S BUt I learnt a lot and I thnked this XP:)
I also started to get used to know that from now on , I'm not alone and I need to think how to make the best and leave "in peace". Time is coming,...I know, I'm draging my decision about next steps, and it's foolish , but it's liek this, still can't undersatnd myself...
At last week I got so effective and quick executing , that I really amazed myself and it seemed as from my dreams. I hope to keep on in the same path!at least I need it like this!
I got to 2 really beautiful places - "Gozalandia"-hidden waterfalls and "Playa sucia", where I had been before already:) Also first time I was sunset in the sea -just amazing!
I subscribed to 4 classes -2 HR management and 2 Spanish (mostly writting) ,but got there only once, as I moved to Mayaguez for 3 weeks, have to back this week again and start to study really :)))
It's pretty all, that I can remember now.. month seemed to be full of different learning and cool stuff. I was really really happy to work and live in Mayaguez! It was so brave for me step , but I really satisfied w ith everything and wish to back there another day:))